The perfect Sunday had arrived and I was prepared to present my plan of action to my pastor—the plan to dump God and the church. After all, I was living a double life and the conviction of walking on the platform once more to lead worship was irritating. I was finally ready to be liberated from the guilt of sin that plagued my mind for months of being involved in a homosexual relationship.
I approached my pastor with confidence, "I'm attracted to men; I'm leaving the church." I knew how the scene would play out—I was prepared to be criticized and beat over the head with Scripture.
My pastor had the sincerest, most compassionate smile on his face as he gazed into my eyes after my statement, and with the calmest tone of voice he responded, "I know what you've been going through and I am not going to allow you to walk out on God because of a struggle."
I was dumbfounded by his response. Like, he didn't even address the issue at hand—he addressed my purpose in life; he addressed the call of God. After he finished, love consumed my very being—I had a reality check that God's purposes for my life were greater than what I was dealing with. I walked away with a fresh revelation of the love of God.
That crafty devil fed me lies for years and convinced me that situations in my life would always remain—he convinced me that there was no hope for freedom as it related to my sexuality. But all the while, God was screaming in my spirit ... "Mistaken identity!" God constantly reminded me that this was a war against my identity in Christ. Earlier this year, I posted a statement on Facebook:
"Deliverance from homosexuality for me was never about becoming a heterosexual. It was about becoming a Son of God." Before the foundation of the earth, God mapped out a specific plan and purpose for all of us (Ps. 139:16) and as sons and daughters of God, we have every right to inherit what is rightfully because of what Jesus did on the cross for us. Deliverance is our right!
If you are in a situation where the enemy is trying to pin you with an identity that doesn't line up with the word of God, declare the truth of God over your life and refuse to accept the lies of the enemy. There is extreme danger in exchanging the truth of God for a lie (Rom. 1:25) and this was the driving force behind my plan to dump God and the church. Agreement with the lies of the enemy will snuff out the voice of truth and will lead one down a dark path, but choosing to believe God and take him at his word will result in divine intervention from the lover of our soul.
I made a decision to believe God for my freedom from homosexuality. People always ask me how did I do it and what was the method. Friends, there is only one method: grace through faith (Eph. 2:8). If we will simply choose to believe God and maintain an inward posture of faith (hope), the grace of God will intervene in every area of our lives, and we will walk in the victory that was ordained for us before the foundation of the world. There was hope for me. There is hope for you.
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