When a Christian Falls
4. Accountability. Proverbs 18:1 says, “He who willfully separates and estranges himself [from God and man] seeks his own desire and pretext to break out against all wise and sound judgment”(Amplified). Because a person who has been caught up in sexual sin has wounded his soul, usually his perceptions are inaccurate and clouded by his own sin. Therefore, he needs to be accountable to someone else.
The principle of accountability is imperative to the restoration process. Any sexual sin is fostered in the darkness of secrecy. The one who has committed sexual sin has developed a pattern of lies and deception. Therefore, it is necessary for someone who has fallen into sexual sin to begin to live a life of transparency.
One of the most common misconceptions about accountability is the idea that the responsibility for being held accountable falls on someone else. For example, if I am accountable to someone, the misconception is that it is their responsibility to call me and ask me the hard questions.
This backward mentality couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, it is my responsibility to live a life of accountability. Consequently, I am the one who needs to recognize when I am being tempted. I need to make the call for help.
Accountability needs to be built on relationships established by God and grounded in His Word. A healthy relationship of accountability is one that directs you toward a more intimate relationship with Jesus. Such a relationship will challenge you to take responsibility for your own relationship with God, as well as for your own choices in life.
Accountability is a choice to expose yourself to the wisdom and counsel of others who are spiritually mature. God places godly friends and coaches in our lives–people who will help us reach higher levels in our walk with the Lord. The key is recognizing that divine flow we sense with another individual, pursuing that relationship and allowing it to take on the character that God desires.
The God of Restoration
The good news is, when God restores He doesn’t use duct tape! In other words, when God restores something that has been broken–a life, a marriage, a family–it is always better, stronger and richer than before.
Yet this man knew that his heartfelt confession and apology would not be enough to bring restoration to his life and his marriage. Consequently, he chose to live a life of transparency.
When he left the house he would tell his wife where he was going. When he arrived, he would call her to inform her that he had arrived. He went out of his way to help eliminate anything that would cause his wife to feel insecure or suspicious.
He was also willing to take all the time necessary to rebuild his wife’s trust, as well as rebuild his relationship with the Lord. Amazingly, he didn’t make any demands on his wife or ask her to make any commitments to him. Rather, he began to live his life before her as a man of God.
