Why Our Society Needs a Marriage Revolution
Back to the Beginning
Solving any problem starts with getting to the root of it—not just treating the symptoms. Tragically, in America we’re spending trillions of dollars dealing with the symptoms of the breakdown of marriage: poverty, crime, juvenile delinquency, drug and alcohol abuse, teenage pregnancy—just about any major cultural issue. It’s time to admit that the root or cause of all of these problems is the breakdown of the traditional family unit—and that the foundation of the family is marriage.
We can spend a lifetime dealing with the symptoms of the problem and never really change anything. And, by the way, I am all for helping hurting people regardless of whether it’s a symptom or the root issue. But as we minister mercy to those in need, we must also have a strategy to fix the real problem. Without it, there will never be true transformative change.
Remembering that it was God who created marriage in the first place is essential. Marriage appears first in Genesis 1, and its creation is detailed in Genesis 2. God created marriage first because it serves as the foundation for every other institution in society, including the church. Ultimately, world history shows us that a society never rises above the level of the health of its marriages and families.
America is a good example. When the American culture honored traditional values and considered marriage to be sacred, the nation thrived and became the greatest on earth. Then the social engineers showed up (they always do). They promised that liberal family laws would free us from the what they deemed were moral shackles that traditional Judeo-Christian morality had placed on society.
That was around 50 years ago. Since then, America has experienced nonstop moral degradation and societal devastation. Now the social engineers are furiously trying to solve the problems their predecessors created with more liberal laws and by spending trillions of dollars treating nothing but symptoms. It’s like trying to solve the problem of a hole in the ground by ordering more shovels.
Unfortunately, I see many denominations and churches mirroring the social engineers. In the midst of our culture’s moral upheaval and in the name of political correctness, a growing number of pastors and church leaders are abandoning the Bible as they resign themselves to a lifetime of spiritual symptom solving. I guess they believe that by appeasing and befriending the problem, somehow they can solve it. They couldn’t be more wrong.
God created marriage as the foundation of society—period. There is no plan B. Marriage reflects His nature and perpetuates the values and virtues of His Kingdom generationally. I’ve seen that even when unbelievers are married in a traditional union, it causes them to act in a manner consistent with the character of God and the values of His kingdom, such as fidelity, commitment, sacrifice, service and love.
As a leader in God’s church, remember that He has authorized and empowered you to make disciples and transform culture. You don’t have to give in or give up. By focusing on the problem (making the main thing the main thing), you and your church have the potential to revolutionize our communities, nation and world. We cannot focus on symptoms or secondary issues and make a significant difference culturally. With the exception of the gospel message, the most important message in the world today is marriage. Regardless of the condition of your own marriage or whether or not you feel qualified to teach or minister on this subject, we must reclaim this territory for God and consider it holy ground.
From here, the marriage revolution begins. To ensure victory, as church leaders we need to focus our thoughts and efforts on three things:
1. We must wake up to the devil’s schemes. As I said earlier, God created marriage as society’s first and essential foundation. It’s recorded in the first two chapters of Genesis. But then in the third chapter, Satan appears as a serpent to tempt Adam and Eve. We commonly refer to their sin as the “fall of man.”
Let me challenge that concept. Genesis 2 records that Adam (“man”) was created before Eve. In fact, Adam named all of the animals on the earth before Eve was created, and that had to have taken a while. I find it interesting that before God breathed life into Eve, the enemy never tempted Adam when he was alone. If he had, we could refer to that as the “fall of man.” Instead, the devil waited to attack until Eve—and therefore marriage—was created. Evidently, he knew Adam was no real threat on his own. But something changed when Eve showed up. Then Satan seduced them to sin. It wasn’t just the fall of man. It was the fall of marriage—a strategic attack designed to divide them and to neutralize their potential as a married couple.
You see, the devil is a strategist. He knows that if he can destroy marriage, he has by default destroyed society. Broken marriages result in broken men, women and children. They cause broken churches, schools, financial institutions and governments. All the devil has to do to win is attack marriage successfully—game, set, match. After the fall of marriage in Genesis 3, look at what happens to the world. Adam and Eve start a family that proves to be highly dysfunctional. By Genesis 6, the earth is full of rampant violence and immorality, just like our world today.
Fighting the Real Enemy
But let’s look at this in a different way. If the devil can break down society by attacking marriage, then what happens if we leverage the authority and revelation God has entrusted to us to reclaim and restore the institution of marriage? In a word, revolution! We can reverse the curse and truly restore individuals and institutions to their God-created purpose. I truly believe that healthy marriage is a game-changer for the world.
But to effect change, we must wake up and become strategic. We’ve spent too much time reeling from the problems of our society as we blame the government, Hollywood or someone else, when in truth we are not wrestling against flesh and blood. People are not the problem. This is a spiritual battle against Satan and his forces. We have been empowered by God to fight and win this war!
And we must be prepared, knowing that at some point every marriage will come under spiritual attack, especially the marriages of pastors and church leaders. You can expect to face temptation in your marriage because again, Satan is a strategist. He places a high priority on destroying church leaders’ marriages. He knows that when our own marriages are suffering, we won’t preach about marriage because we feel unqualified to lead in that area. He knows that if he can destroy our marriages, he can demoralize church members and discredit the work of Christ in the world. To date, he has been highly effective in that area. Sadly, the past and current failures of pastors’ marriages are why a growing number of people are leaving the church or not showing up in the first place.
It’s time for us to open our eyes and fight the real enemy, remembering that Satan’s stealth approach makes him most effective. Think about it: To tempt Eve, he took the form of a serpent. Serpents are dangerous, in part because they blend into their environment. By the time they strike, it’s too late. When the devil attacks our marriages, typically by the agency of demonic spirits, he doesn’t appear as the devil. He simply slithers up and begins his mind games, whispering thoughts of temptation, deception, accusation, confusion, fear and so on.
Chapter 10 of Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians tells us: “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled” (2 Cor. 10:3-6).
The battlefield of marriage is our thoughts, our minds. Consequently, we have to learn to take our thoughts captive as well as train those we lead to read, believe and meditate on God’s Word, specifically on what Scripture says about marriage. The sword of the Spirit easily vanquishes the devil’s every attack.
And we must learn to expose Satan’s lies as he takes advantage of our every weakness, failure, fallen desire and life disappointment. The devil and his minions are always up to no good, but when we’re going through difficulties in life and marriage, they are especially busy. At those times, it’s vital that we’re especially vigilant and accountable. We all struggle in marriage; we should never be ashamed of that. It’s how we struggle that determines if we will succeed or fail.
Marriage is the foundation of society, and the Word of God is the foundation of marriage. Our revolution begins when we put on the helmet of salvation and pick up the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit.
