Is Watching Porn With Your Spouse a Sin? Leading Theologian Sounds Off
To watch pornography with your spouse is a “revolting” sin, Desiring God‘s John Piper says in a recent podcast.
Piper says many listeners come to him to ask if watching the sexual acts of others, even with their spouses, is a sin in the Lord’s eyes.
“Yes, it is,” Piper says. “It is sin. And it is a revolting sin. And what makes it so revolting is that, in that very sacred moment—I wonder if our questioner even has a concept of sacred sexuality—in that sacred moment, corruption is abounding in three directions: toward Christ, toward the spouse—which I assume is a wife here being asked to do this—and the marriage, and toward the people in the pornography.”
When Paul commanded husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, “it is inconceivable that the pleasures Christ has in the church would be awakened and stimulated by his (imagining) a prostitute to get his juices flowing.”
Pornography is so dangerous that activists have launched secular movements to “fight the new drug.”
According to Fight the New Drug’s website:
Two of the most respected pornography researchers, professors Jennings Bryant and Dolf Zillman at the University of Alabama, who have studied the effects of porn and media for more than 30 years, said that when it comes to porn use “no rigorous research demonstrations of desirable effects can be reported.” In other words, in all the serious research that’s been done on porn, no one has found that it has any benefits. What several studies have found, however, is that porn use can cause serious damage not only to the user, but also to those closest to them—especially their partner.
Studies have shown that even casual use of porn can cause the user to feel less attracted to their partner. And when a person frequently uses pornography, they’re far more likely to feel less satisfied with their partner’s looks, sexual performance and willingness to try new sexual acts.
Fifty-four percent of adults say viewing porn is wrong. Sixty-eight percent of those 13-24 see absolutely nothing wrong with watching pornography, Barna reports.
Covenant Eyes, a service that offers internet filters that honor God, offered this analysis:
- More than 80 percent of pastors say that an image that is sexually arousing is porn. Only about half (53 percent) of general population adults think so. Makes me wonder about the other 20 percent of pastors. …
- Seventy-three percent of pastors feel at least somewhat equipped to deal with pornography when someone comes to them for help. But only 7 percent of churches have any program whatsoever.
- Sixty-four percent of youth pastors and 57 percent of pastors struggled with pornography currently or in the past. Fifty-four percent of youth pastors who currently struggle “live in constant fear of being discovered.” Forty-one percent of adult Christians think pastors should resign if they are found using porn; only 8 percent of pastors think so. No wonder they live in constant fear!
If you’re still confused, “So yes, this is a sin, a revolting sin,” Piper says.
“Revolting because it blasphemes Christ as if He needed sin to help Him love His bride, because it celebrates the sickness and sin of the pornography industry, and because it insults the preciousness of a wife’s heart and body by the one above all others who should cherish and nourish her soul.”
