Widow of Megachurch Pastor Jarrid Wilson Shares Sweet Video Taken Just Hours Before Husband’s Suicide

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If you are in crisis, please call 800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You are not alone.

Juli Wilson, widow of pastor and mental health advocate Jarrid Wilson, recently shared a touching video of her husband playing with their children. The video was taken just hours before his tragic suicide Monday evening.

The video shows Wilson—who was associate pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside, California—swinging his young child up in the air. Watch it below:

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Can’t sleep, so I’m watching this video over and over again . I took this on Monday evening around 7:30 pm at our son’s baseball practice. By 11:45 that night, my sweet husband was in the presence of Jesus. I love you, jarrid. I miss you beyond what my heart can stand. Thank you for loving our boys and I with the greatest passion and selflessness I’ve ever seen or felt in my entire life . I’d do anything for a hug from you right now. I keep hearing on repeat what you told me all day every single day, “gosh I frieking (how he always spelled it) love you.” Longing to be with you, longing to make you proud. The boys and I miss you so much. I frieking love you too. So much more than you could ever know. Wish I could tell you that right now. We all do .

A post shared by Julianne Wilson (@itsjuliwilson) on

“Can’t sleep, so I’m watching this video over and over again,” Juli wrote in the caption of the video post. “I took this on Monday evening around 7:30 pm at our son’s baseball practice. By 11:45 that night, my sweet husband was in the presence of Jesus. I love you, jarrid. I miss you beyond what my heart can stand. Thank you for loving our boys and I with the greatest passion and selflessness I’ve ever seen or felt in my entire life.

“I’d do anything for a hug from you right now. I keep hearing on repeat what you told me all day every single day, ‘gosh I frieking (how he always spelled it) love you.’ Longing to be with you, longing to make you proud. The boys and I miss you so much. I frieking love you too. So much more than you could ever know. Wish I could tell you that right now. We all do.”

Through the nonprofit Wilson founded, Anthem of Hope, he strove to destigmatize mental illness in the church and encourage those struggling with mental illness to find support.

Evangelist Greg Laurie shared the news of Wilson’s death in a statement Tuesday evening, saying that “at a time like this, there are just no words. The Bible says, ‘There is a time to mourn.’ This is certainly that time.”

Juli also posted about her husband’s death Tuesday evening, saying that suicide fed him “the worst lies” but that he knew the truth of Jesus and is now made complete and finally free.

“Suicide doesn’t get the last word,” she wrote. “I won’t let it. You always said, ‘Hope gets the last word. Jesus gets the last word.’ Your life’s work has led thousands to the feet of Jesus and your boldness to tell [others] about your struggle with anxiety and depression has helped so many other people feel like they weren’t alone.”

Christian author Jonathan Merritt set up a GoFundMe for Juli and her two children, Finch and Denham. In the description, he calls Wilson a “devoted father and husband, powerful speaker, and gifted writer who died on September 9th, the eve of World Suicide Prevention Day.

“He struggled publicly with his mental health, and his willingness to break the silence on this often taboo issue gave many the courage they needed to survive the dark nights of their soul. … Countless people are alive today because of his words and work.”

Merritt says that because Wilson was the family’s primary income earner, Juli and the two children needed financial help to make ends meet in the coming months.

“As Juli and the kids discern what is next for their family, they will also need to pay for basic necessities, health care, counseling, etc.” Merritt wrote.

Please keep the Wilson family in your prayers as they grieve Jarrid’s passing. {eoa}

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