After a Miscarriage and a Life-Changing Accident, I Chose Life—Even With Its Unanswered Questions

Following the recent hearing in Congress, the subject of Planned Parenthood and its abortion practices continues to be a hot news topic—though even Christians who disagree on it seem unwilling to discuss it. My heart is to open an honest, civil discussion.

For decades, pro-life advocates have approached abortion mainly by showing these are living babies in the womb. Yet if people are not convinced already with the science that is clear—that the pre-born baby is a living person with a beating heart, the baby feels pain, etc.—then more evidence will not do much.  

I’d like to present another approach. At the heart of the issue is: Why do women abort their babies? Calling it by another name, such as fetal tissue, and believing that it is not alive may help ease their conscience. But I also think it fits in with a certain view of life.

Some of the reasons we hear for having an abortion include:

• I am not ready or able to take care of a child.

• Having a baby would impact my life; I wouldn’t have the time to do what I want or “need” to do at this time.  

• It will impact my career (How many women have been overlooked for promotions due to being a mother? It is a shame that it happens, but the truth is it does.)

• The baby may have a physical disability—it would be too hard to take care of them, and it would not be a good life for the child.

There is truth in a lot of these statements. Having a child requires a lot of time; there are sacrifices I made to take care of my two children. Another big reason we hear why abortion should be legal is in cases of rape. In all these cases, it comes to a matter of answering two heart questions: What are my priorities? And what is my view of God?

If God is who we say He is—the creator of life—those of us created cannot accurately assess how the Creator made a mistake. There are surprises for us, but no accidents in His plan. When a woman gets pregnant, it’s not as if God looks down and says, Oops, I didn’t see that coming. He knows the circumstances of the mother. And He knows the future for both the mother and the child.  

Are there times that the birth mother cannot take care of the child? Yes. But I believe God knows that too and has a plan for that child. It may be being adopted. But even if the child is not adopted, God does not abandon the child. He is there through everything. Can we wrap our minds around the fact that God is all-knowing, all-powerful, loving, faithful? If He is all these things and so much more, how can we say that abortion should ever be the option?

I believe that every child’s life begins at conception. God is true to His Word: He knits us together in our mother’s womb. He has a plan and purpose for both mother and child. Although rape is a horrible crime, it is not the woman’s fault or the baby’s fault that a child resulted from this act. All we can truly know is that God knows and that there is a purpose for this child’s life. Let’s support the mother and child. Just as we are not defined by our past, so is this infant not defined by his past.  

While I am married and have two children, I also know the pain of losing a child. My first pregnancy had just begun when I lost the child. The doctors confirmed that I had been pregnant and that I had what the medical community called a “spontaneous abortion.” Right away, that word abortion made me cringe.

We think of abortion as a choice to end an unwanted pregnancy. Even though I was only about six weeks along, I knew that I was carrying a child who was alive. But there was nothing I could do about the loss—except grieve and give the child to God.  

My view prior to this was that abortion was a personal choice. Yet during this time, I became convinced abortion was wrong. If I believed I was carrying a child that was alive at that time, then how could I believe that abortion was not killing a child? But I also fell into the trap of thinking that this was what I believe; that I shouldn’t express my opinion to others. It was between them and God, I thought.