When You Can’t Say No

For years, all I wanted was to be free from the overwhelming urge to eat. I loved all kinds of foods, but especially anything made with sugar and flour. I couldn’t say, “No.”

Hi, I’m Teresa. I am a sugar addict, set free by God’s Grace-Power.

Declarations

It didn’t matter what declarations I made. If dessert showed up anywhere, I couldn’t resist. The sight and smell alone would start my mouth watering. That would kick my brain into gear telling me I was hungry and needed quick energy. Plus I deserved it.

The rationalizations were half-truths, the enemy’s specialty. “You have worked hard. You can start eating healthy later.” Problem is, later seemed to never come because I gave in readily to the voice of evil or my own desires. It’s really hard to tell the difference sometimes.

Emotional Eating

My emotions would begin churning and pulling on events which happened in my childhood. Although many of these were not earth-shattering, as a child I didn’t have the thought processes to understand what I felt.

I would misconstrue comments or actions and feel I’m nobody. I’m fat. I’m worthless. I’m not pretty. I can’t do anything right. I’m an empty shell. These became part of my belief system.

Once the emotional lies got embedded, they came out as motivations keeping me from losing weight. My emotions made me believe I had to eat to keep myself from feeling sad, angry, fearful, alone, tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, unloved or depressed.

Insanity

The truth is that Jesus had already set me free from all of the external things I tried to use to give me comfort and keep me from being afraid. I used food to quiet the urges to go completely insane. Yet weighing 430 pounds was, no doubt, the result of my insanity.

Addiction, any addiction, involves a “strong and harmful need to regularly have or do something,” according to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary. Harmful is the operable word in this definition.

Sugar

Many I meet who learn I’ve lost 260 pounds immediately ask how I did it. When I tell them I’m a sugar addict and I don’t eat sugar or gluten, they come back with, “I need to lose weight, but I’m not a sugar addict. I can stop any time I want.”

“Do you think you’d lose weight if you stopped eating sugar and gluten?” I ask.

“Probably,” they cautiously answer.

“Then, if you want to lose weight, are not addicted and can stop any time, why don’t you?”

Many have no answer. Others say, “I don’t want to.” To them I say, “Then you don’t want to lose weight bad enough.”