How Hillary Is Angling to Be the First Black Female President

When it comes to pandering, nobody does it better than Hillary Clinton—who is desperate to become the nation’s first black female president.

In her latest outreach to New York City’s black voters, Mrs. Clinton told hip-hop radio show hosts that she carries a bottle of hot sauce in her purse.

It was an apparent homage to a lyric in “Formation,” Beyonce’s latest hit song. Or as Hot Sauce Hillary calls her, “Bay-on-say.” But I’ll get to that little faux pas later.

“I got hot sauce in my bag, swag,” is how the song goes.

Mrs. Clinton’s revelation that she likes it a little spicy came as a surprise to the hosts of Power 105.1’s “Breakfast Club.”

Here’s a transcript of the conversation between Hot Sauce Hillary and the hosts of “Breakfast Club” on Power 105.1:

Angela: “What’s something that you always carry with you?”

Mrs. Clinton: “Hot sauce…”

Well, it turns out that she really does like hot sauce—a lot.

The Clinton campaign confirmed to TIME magazine that Mrs. Clinton enjoys an array of spicy foods—from chili flakes to jalapenos. To be fair, her love affair with hot sauce goes back 20 years. Her current favorite is apparently something called “Ninja Squirrel.”  

Regardless, her on-air admission was met with skepticism in the media.

It was a “clear attempt to snag New York’s black vote,” TMZ opined.

I would’ve demanded that she produce the bottle, but that’s probably why she refuses to come on to my radio program.

Continuing with the transcript:

Charlamagne Tha God: “Hot sauce in my bag, swag.”

Mrs. Clinton: “Hot sauce.”

Charlamagne Tha God: “Now, I just want you to know people are going to see this and say, ‘OK, she’s pandering to black people.”

Mrs. Clinton: “Is it working?”

No, it’s not working. What in the name of Texas Pete is she thinking?

Last January, she was named the radio station’s “Donkey of the Day” for being inauthentic and for pandering to black people, the Washington Post reports.

Charlamagne said Hot Sauce Hillary was trying to reach black voters in a “Grandma trying to be hip kinda way.”

I’m just glad she didn’t beatbox the theme song to the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air.”

Now, about that unfortunate incident involving Hot Sauce Hillary butchering Beyonce’s name. She was speaking at a town hall gathering and called Beyonce, “Bay-on-say.”

“A lot of black people feel like they can’t trust you because you mispronounced Beyonce’s name,” Charlamagne said.

It’s not the first time Hot Sauce Hillary has pandered to black communities across the fruited plain, dropping her “g’s” above and below the Mason-Dixon Line.

There was the time she changed her Twitter logo to represent Kwanzaa. And then there was the time she had chicken and waffles in South Carolina.

Truth be told, I’d be willing bet a jug of sweet tea that Hot Sauce Hillary couldn’t tell the difference between a collard green and a turnip green.

And how could we forget her cringe-worthy recitation of an African-American spiritual, delivered in a church house with a faux black dialect?

“Ah don’t feel no ways tired,” Hot Sauce Hillary told an enthusiastic congregation. “Ah come too far.”

Sweet mercy, America. It’s like she’s turning into Tyler Perry’s Madea.